Wednesday, June 20, 2012

We are better than that

Over the years, particularly since the publication of our book in 2000,we've seen quite a lot of complaints about children and parents.

It is only natural. Some people need a place to vent...I think we all need a good rant and maybe a bit of screaming every now and then.

We have created various forums and got together in person to explore these themes and feelings.

Humans spend a lot of time complaining. Be it about parents, children, the neighbour's dog, reality TV, religion, teenagers, the elderly, bad drivers, fast drivers, global warming...the list is endless. For everything that you care about or like someone is right there complain about exactly the same thing.

It takes a lot of energy and it does no-one any good, especially not you/us.

Now I am not saying that no-one should ever complain. Believe me that would be the height of hypocrisy.

What I am saying is that we should shift the focus to ourselves and what we want. Aim for less complaining and more fun, happiness and achievement.

If anything I knew has been reinforced by this journey is that you can't change individuals by complaining about them and especially not by complaining to them.

Humans seem fundamentally contrary, so complaining just makes most of them did their heels in and do more of the same.

What are you going to do then? Complain some more? Yep, that should work ;-)

Making things worse are our friends (not), the media. They and our "leaders" use fear to control us. I heard of F.E.A.R. described as False Evidence appearing Real.

This initially struck me as a fairly lame platitude but when I chose to take on board the sentiment all sorts of problems just washed away.

It has been ages since I've watched the news on TV or read a newspaper. All it takes to work out that it is all bullshit is to compare them to each other. When has any two news stories from different channels ever been the same? So which one is telling the truth? The answer mostly seems to be "none" and that being the case I am far better off not wasting my time with any of them.

If something is important enough I'll hear about it and I can then investigate the "truth" of the matter on my terms.

I once heard about a thing we humans have called the Reticular Activating System. As it was explained to me, it is the part of the brain that makes us notice more red cars when we ourselves own a red car. There aren't suddenly more of them on the road, our RAS just starts noticing them because now we have an interest in them.

It sounds plausible and a nice way to explain a phenomena but I wasn't sure if it was just motivational bull-crap.

Regardless of whether the RAS works as the motivators say, the pragmatic implementation of making the choice to avoid the things we find unpleasant and focus on those we find pleasant or desirable is demonstrably real.

Try it for yourself. If you want it to work it will, if you think it is bullshit you'll be right too :-)

If we focus on something we don't want, can't fix or can't have frustration and anger are inevitable.

I say, fuck that, I'm moving on baby! (I mean no babies).

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David